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18 May 2007

...of finally giving birth!!

The events from leaving Labor Room up to delivery.

12 NN
By this time, it's been assumed that i'll have normal delivery, main reason why my OB allowed me to transfer in the suite than stay in the Labor Room... as what we have agreed upon.

I'm now comfortably lying down in the Birthing Suite with my family and my OB never left my side. The birthing suite gives the patient the privilege of undergoing labor, delivery, and recovery with her family without having to leave the room. This privilege of course, come with a high price but that's nothingcompared to the feeling of being close to your family on one of the milestones a woman has to take in her life.

The Epidural

My anesthesiologist told me that it's about time for to receive epidural even if i'm not experiencing excruciating pain. She also said that it's good for the baby because if i'm relaxed then the baby will be feeling relaxed inside as well.

The procedure was something i expected but how it felt was totally a different story!

First, i had to curl up like a fetus. I had to bend my knees and make it reach my chin. How hard for a pregnant woman on labor! Then they had to spray alcohol all over my back. This one is the hardest because ever since i got into a car accident, it seemed like my back has been super sensitive with the cold. The nurse thought i was tickled by it, she was forcing this idea so i blatantly told her, NO! The doctor found it hard to locate where the needle is to be inserted because of my scoliosis which developed because of the accident. A few minutes after, i was asked to stay still, inhale and hold my breath. I was scared because i've heard that if the needle is misplaced inside, i could end up dead or paralyzed. Then i was asked to lie on my back and a circular thingy was attached on my breast bone. Doctor told me that's where they will keep on injecting anesthesia should i need another shot. Now the epidural is done, what should i experience next?

1230 NN

Moments after i received epidural, my eyes started circling in all directions. I could still watch TV but when i look at people or objects close to me, i can't focus my eyes. It was like i took a tablet of Ecstasy (as if i had experienced it!?!). I tried to text my husband to update him of what's going on and it was SO HARD! I couldn't read what i was typing lest what i was pressing. It was a bit strenous for me if i try to focus on something near to me so i just diverted my attention on talking to my OB with my family. I was IEd again, and this time, my cervix dilated to 7cm already!

1 PM

My cervix is now at 8cm. OB started instructing the nurses to prepare the equipments for normal delivery in the suite. But first, she had to rupture my water bag. With the anesthesia still at peak, i could only feel the pressure but no pain. She inserted a metal instrument inside me and with a little twitch here and there, she punctured it! After which, she asked me to push a little bit just so the water would come out. It felt weird at first because i had no idea how to "push" the right way. I was told to push or to strain just like when you're pooping. But do not make a mistake of getting your energy from your throat, should come from your diaphgram, much like when you're singing. So i pushed my water bag out and i really heard the splash of it! Yikes!

130 PM

My cervix is now at 9cm. We did some practice on how to push, sort of like a warm-up. By this time, i was more of excited than nervous. In fact, i didn't feel nervous at all! I was imagining a scene from a movie wherein the baby, still bloody would be given to the mom, the mom would cry and have their first picture together. And besides, i've been waiting for this moment my whole life! I have always wanted to be a mom!

145PM to 3PM

At exactly 145, i started attempting normal delivery. As far as i can remember there were 10-15 nurses in the suite, all aiding me to deliver my baby safely in the soonest possible time. There were 4 nurses on my side doing fundals. They were timing my contractions to sync it with my pushing. All of them would shout in chorus, "inhale-hold-1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-exhale". Honestly, i didn't find it hard to push, it wasn't tiring either. I guess because i was really determined and somehow prepared for this testing moment in my life. It's 2pm already and my baby's head hasn't surfaced yet. I've been pushing for numerous times and i'm not showing signs of giving up. My mom started asking me if i'm sure i didn't want to go CS. No way!

215PM, i have lost a lot of blood by this time and i'm still very eager to push. In fact, everybody wanted me to take a rest but i refused, i really wanted to see my baby ASAP! I've been hearing my siblings shout "Go, Lil, kaya mo 'yan!"

230PM, everyone is now alarmed by this time because it's been almost an hour and they're worried about my baby's condition. They've been using the Doppler more frequently now and i can hear them counting the number of pushes i make. My OB told me that she might do CS on me if i still can't deliver my baby. My mom, on the other hand, is insisting we stop and go straight to the OR. I'm not giving up, just yet.

245PM, still without my baby, my OB told me we have no other choice but to to a C-section for the sake of the baby. I pleaded for her to give me another few minutes to try. And she did.

3PM, I can't believe it took me this long. It didn't seem like an hour and 45 minutes have passed! I'm still feeling enrgized! I can still push!

That hour, my OB and my Mom required me to deliver via C-section. It wasn't an option, i wasn't given the time to decide, i wasn't given the time to absorb the thought of it!

Then i heard my OB tell me, "this means you will never be able to have a normal delivery"

In my head, i can only say, "Huwaaaat?!?!?!"

Next thing i thought, will i feel my tummy being cut? how long will the procedure take? how can i get back to my prepregnancy figure if i undergo an operation?

In a split second, i felt myself being transferred to the OR without anyone asking for my permission or how i was, no one telling me what will exactly happen before, during, and after the procedure. I have never discussed with anyone or read about C-section in any of my books!

So there i was in the Operating Room with, from what i remember, 20 or more people inside. Most of them are guys! So my anesthesio gave me another shot of anesthesia which i don't really know, it numbs my lower body only. Then i was crying, i was looking for my Mom, my OB. I didn't know the people surrounding me yet i asked them what's going on, and i kept saying i didn't want to do it! I kept telling them i could still feel what they were doing on my tummy, to not cut me open just yet. I'm sure i really looked helpless and stressed.. that's what i felt mostly..

While i was helplessly lying there, i saw the nurses setting up the instruments, i heard them counting each and every piece, then i saw a cloth put up in front of me. In such a way that i wouldn't see my tummy. This made me more SCARED! The fear of the unknown!

Then i felt them spray alcohol (it felt like it) on my whole tummy for several minutes. Having felt the spritz and the coolness, my fear increased, this means anesthesia's not yet working. I kept telling them to stop and wait for the anesthesia to take effect. Then i saw my OB, i focused my eyes on her, sort of telling her, "i don't want this", then i just instantly shut off.


BY NATURE said...

hi, lilly! i know it's been 4 months now since you wrote this but i couldn't help but comment about what the anesthesiologist told you that day, that the epidural is "good for the baby because if i'm relaxed then the baby will be feeling relaxed inside as well." i can't believe he/she said that. i mean, whatever drug is injected into the mother the baby inside will get a dose of it herself. why would they want to "relax" the baby when she's supposed to be awake and alert 'coz she's coming out soon??? in fact, according to this book i read every time i'm about to give birth (twice already), "An epidural can also inhibit the mother's ability to push her baby out spontaneously, and, in one way or another, increase the risk of a forceps delivery, a vacuum extraction, or a cesarean section." come to think of it, you weren't even feeling much pain then and you were REALLY determined to have a normal delivery. i sympathize with how you felt then (in the OR). i'm going to blog about this topic to inform other mothers to be. I hope you don't mind if i put a link to this post. i just wanna say that you are a great mother to monica. just keep doing what you feel is right for you and your baby :)

LiLLy said...

Thank you very much for informing me. Now that i think about it, oo nga noh?

I've always been checking out your site for sopas, by the way. ^_^

Donna said...

Hi Lil,

Ask ko lang how much did you pay for the birthing suit that time? just for me to have an idea sana coz im also giving birth at TMC. Thank you in advance.