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25 November 2007

Totally Confused

November 25, 3:30 in the morning, exactly 17 1/2 hours to go before I see Norvz.

I am still awake. Wide awake.

Maybe due to excitement or maybe because of something else.

Days before I learned Norvz's flight, I've already said yes to a project. A project that would take me and Monica to Taal View Heights and get paid. Sounds fun. Not until tonight...

So my sister (Nia's mom) and I are ready to go, like we're packed up and everything. At around 10pm, I called her up to ask what time she will be picking us up. She told me about the family emergency her husband had minutes before she answered my call.

Meaning to say, she won't be able to go with me to TVH, ergo, no one will drive for me. Although, there's a service provided for me, Monica, and the other talents. Not a problem, right? NOT!

First, the only reason why I agreed to that project is because I can bring Monica to such a far place and that I can ride in the comfort of my sister's car. Second, I will be able to bring Monica to a nature-ish place for free! Third, I will get paid.

Now that the first reason is a goner, must I still go there?

Well, I can't back out just like that, especially hours before it, right? More than leaving a bad impression, I dont' wanna burn bridges.

I have options but they're way too hapit. Cutting it too close..

Option 1
Ride the service and risk bringing Monica and the yaya. Note that this is the first time Monica will be having a long trip. She might throw tantrums in the van. I haven't seen the van or the condition of it, so I wouldn't know if it would be comfortable for her. I don't know if it won't get too crowded in the van; how can i breastfeed properly if the van is too hot or too crowded? But then again, at least we're together. My breast/milk is within her reach. I have no worries of going back to Manila before she finishes up my pumped milk.

Option 2
Leave Monica at home with my expressed breast milk and if ever, my sister will turn into a wet nurse. But I don't think how I'll be able to manage leaving Monica to go to a faraway place. It'll be a TOTAL risk. But I don't wanna tire her too much also. Manila to Batangas to Manila to NAIA. My poor baby.. Plus I can't imagine myself leaving Monica while she's still sleeping from the previous night. That's different from a nap (for me, at least). Although I might be back by 5 or 6 pm, that's just like a day in the office noh? But I still can't get into terms with the idea of me in Batangas, Monica in Makati.

Option 3
Ask my not-too-dependable brother to drive for us. As I am typing this, he is still awake playing PC games. Goodluck!

I don't really know anymore...
I just wish I knew how to drive or that I allowed the people around me to teach me to drive. Then it wouldn't be a problem anymore.

And now I end this, I am still clueless.

I want to fast forward my life to 11PM! Then all will be okay.

I have 2 hours to decide....

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